The Pressures Of Being A Working Mum

Being a working mum can feel like you're juggling multiple balls at once; career, family, self-care, and societal expectations. While working mums are incredibly resourceful, resilient, and skilled at managing a variety of tasks, there are still immense pressures and emotional challenges that often come with the territory. Two of the most pervasive struggles that many working mums face are the societal pressures placed on them and the constant feeling of mum guilt.

In this Blog post, we'll explore these challenges and provide some insight into how working mums can navigate and cope with these pressures in a healthier, more fulfilling way.

The Weight Of Societal Expectations

From the moment a woman becomes a mother, society seems to have an opinion about how she should balance motherhood with work. There's often an unspoken expectation that mothers should be able to "do it all", excel at their careers, maintain a clean and organized home, nurture their children, and still manage to take care of themselves.

The "Perfect Mother" Myth

The "Perfect Mother" myth is pervasive, and it often leads to feelings of inadequacy in working mums. The media and society constantly present the image of a mum who effortlessly balances a career while being a hands-on parent. This idealised version of motherhood is far from the reality for most mothers, yet many feel pressured to live up to it.

The Barrier: The idea of having to be a perfect mother creates unrealistic expectations. It places pressure on mums to manage their professional and personal lives seamlessly, while also meeting high standards of parenting.

How To Cope: It's essential to recognise that no-one can do it all, and that's okay. Perfection is not the goal. The most important thing is being present for your family and maintaining a sense of balance that works for you, even if that means embracing imperfection.

Judgment From All Angles

Whether it's about the decision to return to work after childbirth, the type of childcare you choose, or how much time you spend at work versus with your children, working mums often face judgment from society; and even from other mothers!

The Barrier: Working mums may feel judged for their choices, whether they work part-time or full-time, or whether they hire a nanny or rely on daycare. This judgment often leads to feelings of inadequacy or shame.

How to Cope: It's important to remember that everyone's journey is different. There is no "one-size-fits-all" approach to motherhood. Surround yourself with supportive people who respect your choices, and don't let societal norms dictate how you should live your life.

The Constant Companion Of Mum Guilt

Mum guilt is a feeling that haunts many working mums. It's the belief that you're not doing enough for your children, whether it's being away from them for work, not spending enough quality time with them, or not being able to give them everything they need.

Guilt About Time Spent At Work

One of the most common sources of mum guilt comes from the time spent away from your children while working. No matter how fulfilling your career may be, there's a constant tug of war between your professional responsibilities and your desire to be there for your family.

The Barrier: The guilt of leaving your children to go to work can be overwhelming, especially when you're caught up in the "shoulds" of modern motherhood. You may feel like you're not being a good enough mother if you spend too much time working.

How To Cope: It's crucial to remind yourself that your career and your work are valuable. By working, you are setting an example for your children, showing them the importance of pursuing their passions, being financially independent, and contributing to society. Quality over quantity matters more than simply being physically present. Focus on making the most of the time you do have with your children.

Guilt About Not Being "Perfect" At Home

Another form of mum guilt is related to how well you manage the household. Between working, running errands, cooking meals, and keeping the house clean, many working mums feel like they are constantly falling short. When they compare themselves to the unrealistic standards set by social media or the "perfect mother" image, guilt and feelings of inadequacy often creep in.

The Barrier: You may feel like you're not doing enough in terms of housework, cooking, or spending quality time with your kids because you're working. It's easy to feel like you're failing when it seems like everyone else is handling it all effortlessly.

How To Cope: Acknowledge that no one can do it all, and that it's okay to let go of perfection. Consider asking for help when needed; whether it's hiring a cleaner, ordering takeaway, or having a support system of family and friends who can pitch in. It's also important to prioritise self-care, as a healthy and rested mum can be more present and engaged.

Guilt About Prioritising Yourself

Many working mums feel guilty about taking time for themselves, whether it's exercising, reading, or even just enjoying a quiet moment. The overwhelming sense that their time should always be dedicated to others often leaves mums with little space for their own well-being.

The Barrier: Self-care becomes a distant thought, overshadowed by the constant demands of work and family. This leads to burnout, exhaustion, and resentment.

How To Cope: Remember that you can't pour from an empty cup. Taking care of your mental and physical health isn't selfish; it's necessary for your well-being and the well-being of your family. Make small moments for yourself, whether it's a 10-minute meditation, a walk, or a favorite hobby. By prioritising your own needs, you're better able to show up for those who depend on you.

Breaking Free From The Guilt

While society's pressures and mum guilt can feel overwhelming, it's important to break free from the belief that you're not doing enough or that you must live up to impossible standards. Here are a few ways to begin overcoming guilt and managing the pressures of being a working mum:

1. Reframe The Narrative
Shift your thinking from "I'm not enough" to "I am doing my best" and "my best is enough". Perfection is an illusion, and trying to live up to it only leads to unnecessary stress and burnout.

2. Set Realistic Expectations
Set boundaries for yourself, both at work and at home. Delegate tasks, let go of the need to do everything yourself, and understand that it's okay to ask for help or outsource certain tasks.

3. Embrace The Imperfections
The best thing you can do for your children and family is to embrace the imperfections. No-one is perfect, and it's through our struggles and imperfections that we often find our true strength.

4. Build A Support System
Having a support system is key to managing the pressures of working motherhood. Whether it's a partner, family, friends, or a community of working mums, surrounding yourself with people who understand and support you makes a world of difference.

Conclusion: You Are Enough

The pressures of being a working mum; from societal expectations to the burden of mum guilt; can often feel overwhelming. But it's important to remember that you are enough. By setting boundaries, embracing imperfection, and taking time for yourself, you can overcome these barriers and thrive in your role as both a mum and a professional. You don't have to be perfect, but you are doing an incredible job; and that is enough.

Take a deep breath, and know that you're not alone in this journey. Embrace the support and care you deserve, and always remember that your well-being is just as important as the well-being of those around you.